Arriba Harrazane's theme, "Maria" by Ricky Martin blasts throughout the arena. Boos are heard throughout the crowd. His name flashes upon the X-tron as he steps from under it. Arriba struts his way to the ring, slapping fans' hands away from him. He climbs into the ring and adjusts his neckbrace. Arriba grabs a mic and waves it towards the audience.
Tenay: Here comes the man who has been MIA, Legend. The one and only Latin Lover, Arriba Harrazane!
Zbyszko: This man ceases to impress me. He looks like a Halloween reject to me.
Tenay: Be that as it may, it looks like he has a few things on his mind.
Zbyszko: Hey Arriba, I'd like extra sour cream on that burrito!
Arriba Harrazane: Viva La Revolucion! Arriba Harrazane is back, and with vengence on his mind! SO... Why don't all you fat, ugly, out of shape, pig farming yahoos shut up and watch a REAL hombre strut his stuff!
The crowd boos wildly at Arriba's comments. Cups and various items are thrown towards the ring.
Arriba Harrazane: You can all kiss my tight, Latin ass! Arriba has a few things he'd like to get off his fine-toned chest! First of all, You blind embiciles probably have noticed I am in a neck brace. That is courtesy Hellfire, after being illegally thrown into everything in the arena. Hellfire, my sights are STILL set on your punk, farm-bred ass. Don't think Arriba has forgetten about you. Believe it or not, but Kill Kill came by and gave Arriba a little "hands on treatment" if you know what I mean. Thanks to her soft, supple and caressing hands, I have almost made a complete recovery.
Chants of "Hellfire... Hellfire... Hellfire..." are heard echoing throughout the arena. Arriba slaps his ass a few times, then points to the audience.
Arriba Harrazane: Hellfire can spank himself, that's all there is to it! He better get used to spanking, because once I beat his ass next time we're in the ring, I'm gonna give him a spanking like he's NEVER seen before. Now, with that said, we come to Arriba's match at Carnage. I've got to go against the heir to the has-been crown? Give me a break. Your name should be the Stiffman, because that's how you wrestle. I've seen a pack of chihuahuas with more spunk and bite than you have. Why don't you go back north and return to your fishing boat, eh? So you were trained by Stu and Bret? So what? I come from a FAMILY of wrestlers! I'm a third generation champion, chico. What are you? A third generation nobody...
Tenay: Looks like we have a challenge and strong words from the Luchador from El Paso, Legend.
Zbyszko: That and a strong smell. That boy ever shower?
Arriba Harrazane: So hitman, you think you've got what it takes to wrestle a REAL man? All your opponents you've had in the XIWA have been jobbers. You think Heather Skeleton and Midfight Crier are REAL opponents? Step up to a Luchador who knows a little somethin' somethin' about real wrestling. I think I may lay you out cold with El Muerto Loco. Or would you like to feel La Revolucion like all the other XIWA chumps have felt? Come Monday night chicky baby, your gonna find out what the ladies already know. I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever WILL be, chico!
Arriba climbs a turnbuckle and raises his fists into the air. He then throws both middle fingers up to the audience. He slides out of the ring, adjusts his brace, then walks back up the ramp, slapping hands away from him amidst the booing. Arriba exits under the X-Tron.
Tenay: You heard it folks. Arriba has spoken, and you can bet that the Hitman will respond.
Zbyszko: You mean the Stiffman? Ha ha ha... I've seen Randall wrestle. That assessment is pretty much right on cue.
Tenay: The Latin Lover versus the Excellence of Execution. Definitely a match you DON'T want to miss this Monday night on Carnage!
Zbyszko: Where's my burrito?