"Shadow of the Beast" begins to play as Carlos Harrazane and Hasha Koroshiya walk from under the X-Tron. Following behind them is a Tall Man dressed in black leather from head to toe. The tall man is wearing a black leather mask. All three men walk down to the ring. Hasha flips himself into the ring, Carlos baseball slides in and the Tall Man climbs over the top rope and walks over to a corner where he slumps down and sits on the second turnbuckle. Hasha pulls out a mic and begins to speak.
Hasha Koroshiya: There's been a LOT of talk around the XIWA. And that's just it, a lot of TALK. All those so called wrestlers in the back are talking the talk, but not walking the walk. We'll just go right on down the list starting with my next opponent, Drakula. Well what can I say? I do respect his work ethic, coming down here week after week with a bum leg, getting his ass handed to him every time I don't let him have the night off. But that's where the respect ends. He has fewer wrestling moves than a one-armed midget. And now he's got the backing of the BIG man? And the BIG woman? And most disgustingly, the backing of a former Dojo Mundo member, Arriba Harrazane? Well Drakula, you will need ALL of their collective help in order to keep me from retiring you from wrestling.
The crowd boos louder as Hasha continues.
Hasha Koroshiya: And then there is that rag-tag group of wheel-chair toting old farts called the Geriatric Ward, or Horsewomen, take your pick. You have their illustrious leader, Hemroid Flair. Sure he's got the money, sure he's an ump-teen time world champion. Guess what Flair, I am too. And STILL am, unlike you!
Hasha Koroshiya: Then you've got the so-called "Chosen One." Chosen for what, being daddy's little reject? You disgrace the memory of your father every time you step into the ring boy. You will never even be HALF the man your daddy was! And Double Gay, you keep going back to ThunderDome as what you are going to pay me back for? Well, as I recall, it was MY match you were interfering in. I just did myself and Schoolgirl a favor by dumping your sorry ass 2 stories down into the announcers table. With your ass out of the way, I was able to win the match, and MY World Championship title.
Hasha Koroshiya: Then you've got the Geriatric Freak, Scotty Whiner. Someone get that boy some ritalin. Either that or get him some spandex panties that fit. If he screams any louder, he's liable to bust a nut. Come to think of it, he probably has in the Horsewomen lockerroom. Has that boy gotten out of his brother's shadow yet? The only gold he'll ever see in the XIWA is when I put it upside his head again.
Hasha Koroshiya: Then we get to the putrid Stiffman. I think David Arquette has a better wrestling repetoir than he does. His motto is "Like Bret, like Bret, I want to be like Bret." Good luck. Bret is the Excellance of Execution. You are the Master of Mediocraty.
Hasha Koroshiya: And one of the biggest laughs of the year, and probably the worst Horsewoman ever, Heather Skeleton? I know Flair has been knocked in the head a few times over the years, but this one REALLY takes the cake. It shows the real fear and desperation that this band over over-the-hill rejects has. They will let ANYBODY in, and Heather's induction proves just that. Just remember Flair, I've already set my plan in motion, one of your boys WILL defect. Have you found out who yet?
Carlos takes out a mic. Hasha takes off his hood and leather coat as Carlos begins to address the audience.
Carlos Harrazane: Speaking of Hemroid Flair, has anyone seen his ugly mug as of late? Did you have too much of a taste of El Conquistador? You've dodged me for years you has-been. It's time we settle this once and for all. Time to see who is the best. I can tell that you are running scared Flair. It shows. You were spouting from the mouth about this and that, but once I got my hands on you, you found out you don't have the cojones to step up to the challenge and step into the ring with me. So Flair, talk to the Big Man sitting on his ass and get the deal done. I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing 2 of his biggest threats beating the piss out of eachother. Marlow, you spineless gringo, get the deal done, or the Dojo will have to take care of things OUR way!
Hasha Koroshiya: Well said. This brings us to the I-Touch-Myselfs. A bunch of rejects from the ghetto. Oh look here! It seems like their illustrious joke of a leader Prodi-gay is back. Maybe old Hasha will get a chance to show him how a REAL champion wrestles.
Hasha Koroshiya: De-gen-a-what? Is that a woman or a man? Add Triple-Gay, a Way-Too-Gay and a Tazz and you have one silly cartoon, not a wrestling team. You all can talk a good talk, but in the ring, you are barely a step above the Brooklyn Brawler.
Hasha Koroshiya: House of Shadows? Sure, shadows in my kitchen. I still have a score to settle with that buxom bitch Hunter. You can get all the help you want from Arriba, but the next time we meet, you won't be so lucky. I won't take my sweet time to beat you. It'll be the shortest match of your life. And Gator? I'll let you borrow Arriba's Hooked on Phonics kit. I think you need it a lot more than he does.
Hasha Koroshiya: Last and most CERTAINLY least, you have the Jobber Squad. Better known as the Hell Criers. You have the Overfaker who hasn't had a good match since he beat Hogan and Rhyno-boy who has taken over where the Brooklyn Brawler left off. And their so-called leader, the Midfight Crier? I haven't heard THAT much whining since Raven cried "What about me?" As the song goes Crier, "Get a haircut, and get a real job..."
The crowd erupts in a mixture of cheers and jeers. The Tall Man gets up from the turnbuckle and walks over to Hasha. Hasha smiles and hands him the mic.
Tall Man: I've been silent for quite some time. I've seen things happen around here that I like, I've seen things happen around here I don't like. I've been hired on by the Dojo Mundo to make sure that chaos doesn't reign throughout the XIWA. I'm the hired gun to make sure that you saps in the back mind your P's and Q's with the Champ and with Dojo Mundo as a whole. The first point of business is to ensure that Marlow's filthy hands have no interference in Hasha's Vendetta match on Monday. Next point of business is to make sure that punk Arriba doesn't interfere in the match. After that, Arriba will be dealt with. Then we will begin to dismantle all the so-called wrestling alliances throughout the XIWA. One by one they all will fall and BEG Hasha for mercy, and to be included in the Dojo's elite membership. I haven't seen many worth membership, but I'm sure those that are worthy will have to pay their respective dues. We here in the Dojo Mundo expect nothing less than the best, and won't accept anything less than the best to be included in the Dojo Mundo.
The crowd begins to throw things into the ring after the Tall Man's comments. Hasha looks to Carlos and the Tall Man.
Hasha Koroshiya: This is what I'm talking about. Even the fans don't get it. They soon ALL will get it. So Drakula, get your boots laced and bring your game face, 'cause at Vendetta, I'm going to give you the biggest loss of your life. I'm going to break that damn leg of your and you'll be lucky if I don't hang your beaten ass from a cross to display at every XIWA event I wrestle at! Time to scratch your name off the Assassin's hitlist.
Hasha makes a slashing motion across his throat and then sprays Gouka into the air. All three Dojo Mundo members exit the ring and head up the ramp to the jeers and trash throwing of the fans. They get to the top and raise thier fists just before exiting the arena.