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Oct 2-8

Oct 9-15

The Week of October 9 - October 15
| Jeff Jarrett Interview | King's Komments | XIWA Gossip | XIWA Homepage |

Interview with Double J, Jeff Jarrett

King: Thank you for gracing us with your presence, The Chosen One.

Jarrett: The pleasure is mine. Glad to set the record straight.

King: What brought you to the XIWA?

Jarrett: Well King after I kicked just about everybodys ass in the WCWF, captured their IC title, there was just nothing left for me. Yea, I know, there was the WCWF World strap but that slap nuts Prodigy kept dodging me every chance he had! All he did was run his little mouth, but when push came to shove, that kneejerker just kept putting barricades in the face of yours truly The Chosen One... So I came here to stomp the hell outta anyone and everyone and make the XIWA Belt my own... can ya smell what The Chosen One's cooking King? HAHAHA!

King: I hear ya Double J! What makes you The Chosen One?

Jarrett: Hell King just look at me, I'm in my prime for one, numerous titles under me including the WCW Championship and the WWF Championship which I won countless times. I'm at the peak of the Sports Entertainment Industry, everyone else strives to be just like me... but none can compare to the true Chosen One, thats me... Double J, Jeff Jarrett. And, if anyone thinks they can knock me off, well hell... all they need to so is talk to the Cripple Draka... or even to the XIWA so-called cardboard cut out Chumpion Shawna Maverick. Anyone stands in my way, they go down... one by one... thats what it means to be The Chosen One, King... take no names and beat the living snot outta anyone that steps up to the plate.

King: You mentioned the cripple, Braka-my-leg. Why single out Draka?

Jarrett: Look at him King... the man needs to be taken out to the pasture somewhere and shot.... the man's just begging to be put down!

King: Your thoughts on the upcoming Table Match with SSM at Monday Night Carnage?

Jarrett: King, its time for the world to see the current champion as the fake he is.... the only reason why he's there is to make money for Eric Marlow. The man can't wrestle a lick, I showed ya that when I put The Stroke on his ass at Carnage just this week. Sure, the man's all fake, hell even his breath could kill ya if you stand close to him.... but he can't beat me... I showed him that, and the dork knows it. So King right here I'm gonna make a prediction... and King, you know my success rate on my predictions are pretty high... I foresee an ass whipping that SSM has never had, and when the smoke clears, the wood falls, and the crowd belches and farts... I will be the NEXT XIWA World Champion! And there ain't a damn thing that SSM can do about it...

King: I agree 100%! We've seen over the past week or so, this strange man who guards Vicki the Pixie in your absence. Who is the man in black?

Jarrett: Well King, I would love to tell ya, but because of contracts and such I can't... I'm sorry King, but old Double J can tell ya this... when he is finally able to show himself to you and the whole world... Then they all will remember that day when the band played!

King: Does Vicki the Pixie have lips made for porno, or what?

Jarrett: King, really... I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. Hell son the only reason I took her was to teach Draka a lesson. And that lesson is this... ya smart mouth off to the Chosen One or as so much to piss me off... I'm gonna break ya... not only your body, but mentally. And Draka has learned that repeatedly.... but the Dork just won't graduate and he keeps on coming back only for me, Jeff Jarrett, to stomp his ass back to the slime hole he crawled out of.

King: Who do you see as the top contenders for the XIWA World Heavyweight belt, besides yourself?

Jarrett: Thats easy King... Me... and... Myself! No one can match the level of work that I do in that ring, I am the best at what I do... no one can deny that... and when the show comes on, that bell rings.... The Chosen One always rises to the occassion! I can't be stopped King, oh they've tried... but I have as yet to come up on someone that can.

King: Your thoughts on the other XIWA wrestlers?

Jarrett: Stepping out of character for just a second, I can see many on a bright path if they just pushed themselves a little harder... But the one that I see as an up and comer has got to be Hellfire, now there's a man that The Chosen One can respect... but that's outside the ring... in the ring I'll clean his clock!

King: Puppies or winning a match, which do you prefer?

Jarrett: Both King.

King: I couldn't agree more. But nothing beats stroking a couple of nice puppies! Ha ha! Now, on a serious note. Let's try word associations... I say a word, you say the first thing that comes to mind. Champion...

Jarrett: The Chosen One Jeff Jarrett, that's J-A-Double R-E-Double T!

King: Has been...

Jarrett: Prodigy, the man never had it.

King: Blood...

Jarrett: SSM's.... Did ya see how I easily opened his ass up on Carnage? HAHAHA!

King: Table...

Jarrett: Shotgun's feeble body.

King: Cage...

Jarrett: Vicki Vixen, King she's gonna look so good hanging abve that ring at the ThunderDome PPV!

King: Best opponent...

Jarrett: No one.

King: Best wrestler...

Jarrett: The late, great Brain Pillman, hell the man could put on a show.

King: Worst wrestler...

Jarrett: That's a toss up between SSM and Draka, King.

King: Dead...

Jarrett: Well dead is so extreme King, how about retired, as in Draka when I'm done with him at ThunderDome!

King: Guitar...

Jarrett: To the skull of Prodigy.

King: The Chosen One...

Jarrett: Thats me, good old Double J!!

King: Thanks for your time, and we all look forward to you kicking Schoolgirl's ass from post to pillar come the Table Match!

Jarrett: You'll see slappy get what he deserves, a little Southern Comfort. Because baby, I got ALL the stroke around the XIWA!

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The King's Komments

Wowee! What a Carnage we had Monday Night! I can't wait to see what the debut of Assault has in-store this Thursday! Poor little Braka-my-leg had his knee done in by Hasha and The Chosen One again. When is that two-bit garbage collector gonna realize he's WAY outta his league? And no one to console him either, Double J's been getting a little sweet lovin' from what I've heard! Ha ha!

Speaking of sweet lovin', did you all see that powerbomb Hunter gave Trish. Oh my! Poor puppies! I have a home for the puppies to get better in. Trish, if you can hear me, call 1-800-KINGS-BED. Ha ha!

The King called the shots last week, and he faired pretty well. The first match, Midnight Crier against the Spitman was less than spectacular. What was that, a see who can look the pansiest match? Go back to Stu Hart's Milkmaid Farm and learn a REAL skill, ya dorks! Then came Puppyfest 2001! I haven't seen that much skin in ages! As I called it, Hunter won, but look at the price Trish's puppies paid! Man, I LOVE PUPPIES! Then for the coup de gras, The Japanese Assassin and The Chosen One against Schoolgirl and Braka-my-leg. And true to the King's prediction, Schoolgirl and Braka were annihilated! Ha ha! What a show. It was a fabulous finish, right down to the Stroke!

King's predictions for Assault at the Five Seasons Center... Y2Jackass against D-Tricycle. Talk about the yawn of the night. I'll take a tricycle over a jackass anyday, ha ha! Rhyno versus Triple H. Too many H's in this match-up. Can I buy a vowel? Or better yet, can I buy a REAL wrestler? Let's see if Triple H can pull off a Pedigree on a desert animal. Triple H in ten minutes. Next comes Heltah Skeltah and Midnight Crier with special guest referee, the Spitman Randall. The phrase helter skelter died in the seventies and so should this never-was wrestler. Midnight Crier should keep a handy supply of Pampers and Kleenex on hand for all the crap and tears he sheds. And as for the Spitman, this will probably be the first match he's involved in where he can't lose! Ha ha! I say the Spitman, you have to give him credit for at least being the biggest no-talent in the ring in THIS match! Finally, Hellfire and the Underbaker for a shot at the IC Title. Talk about deja-deja vous! I think this is the third time they've met! Talk about deja-deja-vous! I think this is the third time they've met! Talk about deja-deja... Read last week's King's Kourt for this match's prediction...

King's predictions for Monday Night Carnage at the America West Arena... L.J. "The Hitman" Randall versus Arriba Harrazane for a shot at the IC title. Come on folks, can we have a wrestler who was trained in the USA for a change? If I had to pick the best of the worst, I'll go with the Spitman. I can't STAND that taco eating freak. Next, Y2Jackass against the Midnight Crier, once again for a shot at the IC strap. Do I see a trend here? Well, I hate cry babies, so the King will pick Y2Jack in five with a Lionsault. Layton squaring off with Hurricane Helms. Are you serious? Yes, it's not a typo. Hurri-senses will be flying off the scale when Layton shoves that size 7 up Helms's ass. All the Hurri-powers in the world aren't saving Hurricane from an ass whoppin'. Ha ha! He'll be asking the ref to Hurr-y with the bell! Prodigy versus D-Tricycle for an IC title shot. A never-was versus a kindergarteners first ride. The win goes to Prodigy, even though it'll be via DQ. There's something awful queer about that Mike Watson fella. Heltah Skeltah locking it up with Rhyno for an IC title shot. Get your drinks during this match. Gotta make a can stop? Great match to do so. You'll see more action in the bathroom than this match. We'll say time expires in this one. They'll be too busy feeling eachother up to wrestle! Ha ha! Now, the MAIN EVENT! Double J, The Chosen One kicking the ass of the Schoolgirl, Shawna Maverick. A Tables Match folks! It's gonna be a slobber knocker! I can't wait to see good ole Double J put the Schoolgirl's head through the table, time and time again. I know Jarrett will win. I don't care, as long as SSM gets split open wide!

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XIWA Gossip

Oh man! Dish is flying more than a bull in a china shop! Where to begin? Looks like Double J is keeping the man in black a secret. But is he keeping him away from Vicki the Pixie. Word around the XIWA is that he's taken a fancy with her.

Speaking of the Pixie, seems like her and Braka-my-leg are recruiting many XIWA stars to help in the rescue. A lot of good money is going to be switching hands. The King's question remains, where did Vicki make her money? For that answer, see the King's interview with The Chosen One for a hint at that answer...

Looks like Arriba the Tacoman has taken a fancy with our interim CEO, Kim Page. If you didn't catch this psat Monday Night Carnage, you missed it. All I can say is that Arriba has a keen eye for puppies! One good Page (puppy) deserves another! Ha ha! I LOVE PUPPIES!

XIWA has secured the services of a wrestler of BIG proportions. The King has been sworn to secrecy on this one. Let me tell ya though, they don't get bigger than this! He's sure to make waves in the XIWA ranks as soon as his lawyers tie up the loose ends. Stay tuned to Carnage and Assault for more info...

Join us all here in welcoming The Professor, Mike Tenay and my good friend, The Living Legend, Larry Zbyszko to the XIWA ranks. The will host Assault, starting this Thursday. Don't miss it!

This is the King, Jerry Lawler signing off. Keep watching the best wrestling organization going, XIWA! See you on the other side of the ropes!

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