A voice is heard saying, "Kiss my tight, Latin ass!" Arriba Harrazane's theme, "Maria" by Ricky Martin begins to play as he walks from under the X-Tron. He adjusts his neckbrace and walks down the ramp. Arriba carefully pulls himself into the ring. Arriba paces around the ring, pulls out a mic and begins to speak...


Cole: Here is the Latin Lover, the Latin Heartthrob, the Latin Heat, the...

King: Put a sock in it dork. We all know your fascination with the masked freak from Mexico.

Arriba: All you fat, stupid, ignorant local yokels can have a warm glass of shut the hell up while Arriba gives the ladies here a REAL man to look at! I'd first like to congradulate myself on the future pounding of Rhyno come this Thursday at Assault. Rhyno-boy, you think you even stand a chance against me? I'll show you just what a champ does to a chump. I'll make you want to crawl back under mommies skirt back in that hell hole you call Detroit. You aren't even worthy of stepping in the ring with the Latin Lover. So, I'm offering you a chance to back out of our match before your peg-legged, one-eyed, STD ridden, been-under-everything-except-the-Titanic mother has to see me beat your ass from post to pillar! I'll give you the chance to lay down in the middle of the ring and let me pin you, 1... 2... 3. How's about it Rhyno-boy?

Cole: Looks like Arriba is laying down a peaceful solution to this Assault's match-up.

King: That, or he's saving himself from an ass whoopin! Ha ha!

The crowd boos Arriba and begins to chant "Rhy-no... Rhy-no... Rhy-no..." Arriba looks very irritated and stomps up and down. He stops and give a stiffled cry, grabbing his neck. Arriba puts on his best smile then slaps his rear end.

Arriba: You know it baby! That's Latino Heat, and you can all kiss my tight Latin ass to boot! So, Rhyno-boy, be prepared to lay down and let me pin you, or be prepared to have your face punched in repeatedly in front of my home crowd in Houston, Texas! Oh, and by the way, Kimmy, chicky baby, I haven't forgotten how great you made me feel last night. I'm an hombre nuevo after that! Aye carumba... I think AC/DC said it best, "You knock me out with those American thighs." You can have a piece of Arriba ANY day, chicky baby!

The audience begins to boo and throw trash towards the ring. Chants of "Kimberly," "Hellfire" and "Shotgun" ring out across the arena. Arriba stomps some more and grabs his neck once again.

Cole: Looks like Arriba's injury isn't fully healed. He seems to be in a world of hurt up there.

King: He'll be in a world of hurt if Rhyno-boy hears what Arriba said about his momma! Wow! Those are words I'd reserve for Vicki the Pixie! Ha ha!

Arriba: You all just don't know a true champion when you see one! I'll take on your precious Schoolgirl and your ass-faced Hellfire anytime, anywhere! It'll be like taking candy from a schoolgirl. Ha ha! Arriba made a funny! I'm SO clever. And Hellfire... IF you survive your beating at the hands of my friend Hasha, I'll be glad to be the buzzard to pick over your carcass in a rematch. Believe me, Arriba hasn't forgotten what you did to him! So Rhyno-boy, Schoolgirl and Bellwire, keep your heads about you or else I'll have to show you what La Revolucion is all about!

Arriba raises his fists to the crowd, giving them a double finger salute. He throws the mic down and crawls out of the ring and exits under the X-Tron amongst the booing and taunting of the crowd.

Cole: You heard it folks! Arriba just not issueing a challenge to Rhyno, but also laying the line down for Shawn Maverick and Hellfire as well.

King: The only thing Arriba will be laying down is in a coffin once Schoolgirl and Bellwire hear what he said!

Cole: We'll keep you all posted with more updates on this and other matches for Assault, right after these messages from Stacker 2.

King: Chicks go whack for the stack, pinhead!

Camera fades to commercial.