Interview with Draka
King: Welcome to the King's Kourt, Bra... er, Draka.
Draka: I came to answer questions, King, not be insulted.
King: Won't happen again, today... So, to begin with, you came out of no where, to assend the XIWA ranks. What's your background and story?
Draka: Well... I grew up on Long Island east of NYC. As I grew up I became a big fan of wrestling and decided to try my hand at it. I trained hard and eventually began wrestling in smaller leauges along the East Coast. Over a year ago I got a contract with the X.E.W.O., the Xtreme Eastern Wrestling Organization, and quickly won their National Title. Over the course of that year I won the National title three times, the Tag Title on two occasions and the Heavyweight title three times... The last time
I won it was just before I left the X.E.W.O. for the X.I.W.A. Also in the time before I left the X.E.W.O. I met Vicki Vixen and gained her services as my manager. I came here to the X.I.W.A. for bigger game and bigger prizes.
King: What do you make of the situation with Vicki?
Draka: The situation with Vicki huh? I think it's sick that Jeff would kidnap her. I know Vicki knows I'm doing my best to get her free from that sicko. Come Thunderdome I will.
King: Speaking of the Chosen One, what do you think of Jarrett?
Draka: Chosen what I'd like to know. I think Jeff was a great wrestler in his day. But his actions of late have proven what I've said about him all along... He is a has-been. He can't cut it in the ring so he tries to get his opponents distracted. The only reason he kidnapped Vicki is because I kicked his monkey ass in the battle royal match.
King: Do you know who this man in black is, or have any ideas who he might be?
Draka: I have no idea who the man in black is. He must be just as much a sicko as Jeff to go along with his plan. It will be revealed in due time who he is.
King: What are your thoughts on some of the XIWA wreslters?
Draka: My views on other X.I.W.A. wrestlers: SSM is a great wrestler and will go far in this place. Jeff Jarrett is a has-been who could possibly be a current player if he would stop with the spineless games he plays. Hasha... get a dental plan. Arriba... Mexico is to the south.. buy a bus ticket. Taker and Rider are big tough men... I look foreward to facing them at some point. "The Hitman" is a good wrestler... he just needs his own gimmick. Hellfire... tough... very tough... but he has issues. I could be here all day with this... the X.I.W.A. as some great talent... let's leave it at that.
King: What type of match and dream opponent would you like to be involved with?
Draka: Dream opponent? I would have liked to face some of the greats in this game.... Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Ric Flair, Sting, Macho Man.... the list goes on.
King: You can let me in on the secret here, what is the REAL way Vicki made her millions?
Draka: King, better watch yourself, once Vicki is set free by me at ThunderDome, she'll be gunning for you as well. Unlike what you have implied King, Vicki inherited her money from her family. Wisely invested and ready at hand.
King: Okay, okay... Your thoughts on SSM, the first and current XIWA title holder.
Draka: SSM.... Shawn is a great wrestler and will be a great champion. I can't wait to meet him in the ring to win the title from him. It's just a matter of time.
King: SSM was your partner in the tag match in which you lost. How is your body, after being slammed through a table and after having your leg bashed time and time again against the post in that match
Draka: To be honest right now my knee isn't in the best of shape... but I will be ready for my match at Thunderdome. The ringpost wasn't fun but I fully expected my knee to be a target out there... I'm not stupid after all.
King: You could have fooled me with the challenge you issued to the Japanese Assassin. What type of match would you like to wrestle against him?
Draka: You are treading on thin ice King, but I'll calmly answer. Yes... I've challenged Hasha to a match... As I've said I don't care what kind of match... Hasha... if you read ths... if you can read that is... At any point before Thunderdome I want you in a match. If you aren't scared that is. Table match? Sure. Hardcore match? Sure, why not? Last Man Standing? I'm for it. Cage match works too... what do ya say Hasha?? I can see the billboard now... Draka vs. The Japanese Assgobbler... tonight!!! Let me know Hasha...
King: Thank you for taking time out of your witch hunt to talk with the King.
Draka: Witch? Wait until ThunderDome. You'll be runnin' when she's gunnin' for YOUR head, King Crawler...
King: ...
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The King's Komments
It was an "Assault" on the eyes this past Thursday night! From the heart of the midwest came XIWA's newest show, XIWA Assault! If you missed Assault, you missed a few surprizes. One being my good buddy The Living Legend, Larry Zbyszko!
The King over all didn't do a bad job on his predictions. Here's a recap of my Assault predictions. Yes, yes, huh, yes... The best match was the main event that saw the Underfaker getting his just desserts. Can someone give him a walker instead of a cycle? PLEASE??? My Carnage predictions were a little less stable. Yes, to err is human, but I'm STILL the King! Ha ha! I predicted the has-been over My Favorite Mexican. Little did I know that the Underfaker and Midnight Crier would make their presence known, giving the Latin Heartburn the easiest pin in his career. Not that the Stiffman isn't that easy to pin in the first place. A little retribution for Heather Skeleton as he takes a win away from the Crier. Someone give Midnight a hankie, I think he's gonna bawl! Ha ha! Looks like Helms had a Hurri-accident in his shorts. The best was SUPPOSED to be last. Hasha? Why Hasha, why? I still have yet to understand what happened there. Shotgun got the win over The Chosen One in the Table Match for the belt. Schoolgitl Shawna remains the (cardboard) chumpion.
This weeks predictions for Assault. The Latin Heartburn versus the African horned beast. Sorry to say, I give the edge to that Taco eating freak, Arriba Hard-on-Kimmy. Rhyno looks to be extinct here in the XIWA before TOO long. A match where whoever loses, is a blessing for EVERYONE! Ha ha! The First Blood Hardcore tag team match featuring the Stiffman and Heather Skeleton against the Hell Criers, composed of the Underfaker and the Midnight Crier. All in all, it should be a decent match, right down to the tears and turds. A match full of crap and crying among everyone involved. Sorry to say, the referee will be the only REAL man in the ring when these four lock up! Ha ha! Good time to ask Arriba to make you a taco. Extra sour cream please! I can't stand the Undefaker and Crier MORE than Heather and Stiffman, so I'll go with the has-been and the Skeleton. Braka-my-leg and Pro-jiggy-with-it. A cripple versus an eyebrow raising freak. Hmmm... Can I get another taco? The cripple seems to be pulling matches out of his ass, so as long as Jiggy-man isn't on it, the Braka will get this one in the "W" column. The MAIN event. Why Hasha, why? I STILL don't understand. The Match of Hells, Hellfire versus Hasha Kornholio and his own Hellfire. Hasha has been on a rampage lately, seemingly siding with the newly revealed man in black. For those that don't know who that is, he's big, he's a poppa, and he's pumped. Hellfire's had to dispose of a rotting Underfaker carcass lately, and hasn't had an opponent as unpredicatable as Hasha. Hasha in fifteen with his own Hellfire, the Gouka. Maybe we'll get an explanation after Hellfire's ass whoopin!
Carnage? Did someone say Carnage? Come play with the BIG boys! Carnage is off and we bring you XIWA's first PPV event, ThunderDome! If you haven't heard about this one, you need to go order it NOW!!! First we have a leather strap match with the Stiffman and Midfight Crier. I don't know what to say but bring out the hankies. You won't need them, but I'm sure all the whining and crying inside the ring will need a few of those on hand. Stiffman is coming off a hard loss to the Taco-boy, so revenge may spark his drive for a win at all cost. Stiffman in ten, but not after showing Crier the love his daddy showed him all those years ago! Ha ha! Boy oh boy! Next up comes a battle royal for the IC title! Y2J, Arriba, HHH, Rhyno and Hellfire. I can tell you this, all of these men will be fighting for the gold, and a right to challenge the Schoolgirl for his World Heavyweight strap. I have a feeling the big, ugly man, Hellfire will clear the ring of the runts, meaning Y2J and Rhyno. I see Arriba back to full strength and knocking out HHH. This leaves a rematch of Taco-boy versus Hellfire. Arriba will be looking for revenge, but I feel will come up about as short as his momma's skirt on a Friday night! Ha ha! Hellfire will be your first XIWA IC title holder. Next on the line is the Underfaker and Heather Skeleton in a Coffin Match. Faker, be prepared to meet your maker, as Heather Skeleton puts you so far under you'll be speaking Chinese! Ha ha! Key on a Pole for the rights to Vivki the Pixie, featuring none other than Big Poppa Pump squaring off against thre Cripple, Braka-my-leg. Can you say Poppa-power-rific? The biggest arms in the world will choke the living daylights out of the Cripple. No contest. Braka will need outside assistance in order to beat THIS bohemoth. Big Poppa Pump in twenty, he'll take THAT long in order to SAVOR the pain he's inflicting. Oh my, oh my, Hasha why? I STILL can't get over the events leading to Schoolgirl's victory. Hasha will be gunning for his first American gold as he tries to upend the current chumpion, Schoolgirl Shawna. It will be a bloody battle to say the least. I think both will give it their all, but in the end, can you say Korohassenfras, er... Korosakiali, er... Hasha, the new XIWA World Heavyweight Champion?
Stay tuned to Monday Night Carnage with myself and Michael Cole, and to XIWA Assault on Thursdays with The Professor, Mike Tenay and my good friend The Living Legend, Larry Zbyszko.
This is the King, Jerry Lawler signing off. Keep watching the best wrestling organization going, XIWA! See you on the other side of the ropes!
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XIWA Power Poll
01) "Shotgun" Shawn Maverick (3-1)
02) "The Japanese Assassin" Hasha Koroshiya (1-1)
03) Hellfire (3-1)
04) "The Chosen One" Jeff Jarrett (2-2)
05) Draka (1-3)
06) Helltah Skeltah (1-1)
07) L.J. "The Hitman" Randall (1-2)
08) "The Latin Lover" Arriba Harrazane (1-1)
09) Triple H (1-0)
10) The Midnight Rider (1-2)
11) Chris Jericho (1-1)
12) Justin "D.Cycle" Lee (1-1)
13) The Undertaker (1-3)
14) Rhyno (0-1)
15) Prodigy (0-1)
16) "Big Poppa Pump" Scott Steiner (0-0)
17) The Rock (0-0)
18) Mike Extreme (0-0)
19) "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels (0-0)
* Note: Non-RPed matches count as a loss *
** Also: Power Poll rankings are based upon
W-L records and strength of opponents **
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