Interview with Co-CEO Carlos Harrazane
King: Welcome to the King's Kourt "El Conquistador!" [ back to top of page ]
Co-CEO Harrazane: Please, you can call me CEO Carlos.
King: Rumors have been flying lately about your recent acquisition of half the controling interest in the XIWA. Care to comment on who is backing this move?
Co-CEO Harrazane: Let's just put it this way, hombre. I have the backing of an old face along with the backing of a new one.
King: Would this old face be the Japanese Assassin?
Co-CEO Harrazane: I haven't talked to Hasha in weeks. He's shut everyone from the wrestling world out after he was so brutally attacked and screwed out of his title.
King: So that was a yes or no?
Co-CEO Harrazane: ...
King: Well, that brings us to another point. Do you have any clue when Hasha Koroshiya will step back into the ring? After that awesome promo this past Carnage, there is a LOT of buzz in the back.
Co-CEO Harrazane: Well, a few weeks ago when I last spoke with the Champ, he said his rehab has been going well. He's not at 100% yet, but he says he feels a whole lot better now that Marlow's being put in his place.
King: Speaking of which, that was a nice turn you pulled on him, by announcing the CyberSlam secrets. Have anything else you'd care to reveal?
Co-CEO Harrazane: CyberSlam will be THE wrestling event of the year. You'll see a little bit of the old, a LOT of the new, and see me beat Eric in a friendly Street Match for FULL control of the XIWA!
King: That's the match I'm waiting for! Ha ha! Changing subjects, have you spoken to your son, the Taco-maker since his turn on the Dojo Mundo?
Co-CEO Harrazane: That no good hijo! Hell see what his life is like after I have total control of the XIWA. He'll be BEGGING forgiveness AND his old job back!
King: I take it he's on your "first to break" list?
Co-CEO Harrazane: He doesn't deserve the attention I will give him, but his deserves the discipline that will follow.
King: And what of the current Chumpion, the so-called "One Man Wrecking Crew," Braka-my-leg and his floozie the Pixie?
Co-CEO Harrazane: That gold he wears won't be his much longer. It belongs to the one and ONLY true World Heavyweight Champion of the XIWA. That would be the Japanese Assassin, Hasha Koroshiya.
King: So will you strip him of the title?
Co-CEO Harrazane: That's for me to know, and you all to stay tuned and find out.
King: You've gathered up quite a roster of names for you and Kimberly's Alliance. What do you think of the third faction that's trying to rule the XIWA? That being the newly reformed nWo under the so-called leadership of the Canadian Baconer himself.
Co-CEO Harrazane: Chrissie Bendover can do exactly that. Bendover as he watches Hogan screw him like Wallyworld's done to everyone ELSE he's been involved with. You think Wally, Flex Loser and Shawna Niceheels can keep their collective egos in check long enough to while they watch Chrissie Bendover take all the glory? I see them fading as fast as they came in.
King: So they aren't a threat?
Co-CEO Harrazane: Threat? (laughs) Did you see how easily the Alliance took care of them at Carnage? I think they found out just how "has been" they really are. As for their threats against myself and Kimberly? They seem to forget who signs their matches and paychecks!
King: Final words for the readers and fans out there?
Co-CEO Harrazane: Stay tuned, pick your sides and hold on! You are going to be treated to one HELL of a ride come CyberSlam!
King: Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us all Mr. CEO Carlos Harrazane!
Co-CEO Harrazane: It's been a pleasure to set the record straight El Rey.
The King's Komments
Yes fans, it is I, the King! I'm back from my self-imposed holiday exile to bring you more of what you want to hear and see. The truth, and nothing but the truth! Even though I've been away from the King's Kourt, I've still kept my eyes and ears open to all the juicy gossip and stories you've come to love reading about! And if you are all good boys and girls, maybe some PUPPIES to boot! Ha ha! Did I mention... I LOVE PUPPIES! [ back to top of page ]
Injuries have devastated the XIWA ranks as of late. Hell, injuries have hit the King double time as well! This has taken some of our stars out of action for a few weeks. Most notably, are the absences of one half of the Horsewomen. That being Ric "Hemroid" Flair and "Big Crappa Dump" Snotty Whiner. It looks like they have come back though, and ready to make everyone's life a living hell! Ha ha! That means more headaches for Mr. Marlow. And as DDP would say, that's a good thing! Ha ha! Most recent though, the Taco-man himself, Arriba Hurry-up-man was brutally attacked and removed from action. Calling all Assassins? Speaking of injuries, what has happenned to the greatest champion of all time? Were Hasha Korosakiakiaya's injuries that severe? Or is he waiting for just the right moment to reclaim his title? That was a really nice Hasha promo at Carnage too! Judging by that evil grin co-CEO Harrazane has been walking around with, I'd say our wait probably won't be THAT long...
Well, time to recap the great action that went down on the latest Monday Night Carnage! The show starts off with Marlow's troops in chaos! Gotta love it! Braka-my-leg and Triple Preparation H were ready to go toe-to-toe. Then Carlos, the co-CEO decided to ruin a Marlow surprize by revealing the big hush surrounding CyberSlam 2002. That being a double ring surrounded by a steel cage! Woohoo! Someone will win an instant title shot by surviving the cage! Then, Kimberly Puppies and Carlos announced that our current chumpion will have to face not one, two or three opponents, but FOUR! A fatal 4-way for the XIWA World Heavyweight gold! Then, Marlow came out to announce a match between himself and Carlos for TOTAL control over XIWA! At CyberSlam 2002! Don't miss this one. Order it now on InRequest PPV! Wrestling time! And what a first match we had! Shawna Niceheels and WallyWorld Bulk Joken squaring off against DDP and the Chosen One. Someone's been out of wrestling WAY too long, and it shows. Shawna and Bulk should stick to B-movies and TV talk shows. They've OBVIOUSLY forgotten how to wrestle. The Jokepac tried to triple team DDP and Jarrett, but with one swift guitar shot and a Diamond Cutter later, DDP and Jarrett stood over the broken Jokepac in victory. I talked to DDP and Jarrett after the night was over. They are calling that move, the guitar shot followed by the Diamond Cutter, the "Big Bang." That's definitely a fitting name for such a devastating shot! Ha ha! Looks like that is this weeks XIWA Rewind! As my good friend Larry Zbyszko would say, "Roll that beautiful bean footage!" So good, so fine... Sorry, I wasn't talking about the footage. I was looking at the latest issue of the XIWA Canvas Monthly. Wow! If you haven't seen it yet, it's the special "Women of XIWA" photo-shoot issue. PUPPIES! It's good to be the King! Ha ha! Next was a GREAT Hasha montage showing his rise to the pinacle, the XIWA World Heavyweight Championship. Then, before we knew it, the Hardcore match was already in progress! Heather Skeleton, Spaz, Pecks Lugie and Doom all locked up. After a brutal match, the "newcomer" Doom won! The Alliance clears house afterwards. Tazz got laid out! Ha ha! But party-poopers Braka and the Lame had to come out and ruin a perfectly good show. Well, the Braka-Lame show came to a screeching halt. What? I said it came to a screeching halt when Austin came in to voice his opinion. Looks like Austin wants a piece of Braka bad. Get in line Austin, the line is growing by the day. Next up, one on one action with the Stiffman squaring up against the Rattlesnake. Austin seemed to take the Stiffman a little TOO un-seriously. Austin got the worst of it after Stiffy laid out the Rattlesnake with a foreign object. Well, the King has never liked the Stiffman, so I decided to take action. Well, my saying came true. When you step into a XIWA ring, be prepared for anything. I confronted the ref about Stiffman's actions. The ref asked Stiffman, he of course denied. I began a shouting match which ended up with me on the receiving end of a Sharpshooter. Austin to the rescue. He laid Stiffman out cold with a Stunner. That was all for me that night, but I watched on from the back. My knee's fine, just a bit sore. It takes a whole HELL of a lot more to take the King out! Ha ha! Next, the Lame is attacked by what appears to be a hit and run by Draka. On the contrary! The plot thickens! Ha ha! Doom is revealed to be behind the attack! He lures the Lame, Whyna and Braka out to the ring. They get a few shots in on Doom, but he escapes into the crowd, soon chased by Lame and Braka. The action doesn't stop. As Whyna looks on like the idiot she/he is, the Jury comes in to finish her off. Tag Team Title match time! Lame and Draka still hunt for Doom. Lame is jumped by the Genetic Freak! Ha ha! A simple one, two, three later, and we have new World Tag Team Champions! The Jury has spoken, the verdict is in. DX sucks! Ha ha! Draka still searched for Doom in the parking lot, only to find the Chosen One and the Genetic Freak in wait. They jump him and continue to beat him until Doom walks over. Doom asked Braka where Braka was when he needed and Braka, who instead just left him to bleed. Braka looked dumbfounded, which is his normal expression, but more so at this odd statement. Doom leaned over close, and ripped his mask off. It's Prodigy! Prodigy is back! Prodigy dropped the baseball bat across Braka's head one more time and they left him in the lot. What a turn of events! The last match of the night belonged to Way-Too-Gay and the Canned-Ham Drippler. Seemed like kind of a let-down match after all the previous excitement. This match was for a number one contenders spot for the XIWA IC strap. Yawn. I finally woke up and saw Way-Too-Gay tapping out from a Canned-Ham Ass-face. Whoop-de-do... Chris Bendover is the number 1 contender. La-de-freakin-da! What a night of surprizes! Can't wait for the violence to boil over to this upcoming Carnage!
With all that said and done, let's see what the King has for predictions! The newcomers go toe to toe as Jackson Cash squares off against Phat Man. Let's just say Fat Bottoms make the rockin' world go 'round, but they don't win wrestling matches. With the financial backing of KevDogg, I'd say Kid Cash has a cool ride on easy money street. Cash takes it to the bank in less than 15. Next up is Cactus Flapjack trying to stay on his feet with the more agile Way-Too-Gay. None-the-less, this IS a Hardcore match and that is Mr. Jack's forte. After a few chair and table shots, Way-Too-Gay will forget if he's a lion or lioness! Ha ha! Cactus in a bloody bout. Welcome to the world of Hardcore Jerk-o! Puppies times three in the next match! The Pixie and Hunter lock up with Kimberly as the special guest referee! WOW! After all is said and done, and all the BoUnCiNg is done, Hunter will walk out with that gold strap once again proving she's the best in the Women's division. Heather, Heather, Heather... Skeleton girl, what's it gonna take to get you to realize you suck??? I know! How about a match with Rob Van Dam! Ha ha! RVD will take no RSVP's as he kicks Heather's ass ASAP. RIP L-O-S-E-R! Ha ha! RVD in a blink of an eye. Next up, a Three-Corners Tag Team Championship Match! Woohoo! The Jokepac send in Flex Loser and Shawna Niceheels versus the Alliance's DDP and the Chosen One versus the current Tag Team Champions, The Jury. This will be an all out war. It'll be nice to see some TALENT for a change. The talent being DDP and the Chosen One! In the end, the Alliance will prove once again that they are the force to be reconned with. Welcome your new XIWA Tag Team Champions, the Alliance! Only one thing can be said about the last match for the night. That is it's a grudge match. Prodigy, the recently crowned Hardcore Champion and Steve Austin locking up against Braka, the XIWA chumpion, and Triple Preparation H. After the beating Braka and Lame took at the last Carnage, it's a wonder they're stepping in the ring so soon! Look for "Doom" to reign as the Rattlesnake and Prodigy take advantage of their opponents recent injuries. This one is over before it started. Austin and Prodigy will open SEVERAL cans of Whoop-Ass and will celebrate as the victors! What a night and what a Carnage!
Stay tuned to Monday Night Carnage with myself and Michael Cole. You won't want to miss it! The CyberSlam PPV is available for order. Order it now on InRequest PPV.
Think you got what it takes to survive a one-on-one interview with the King? You could be the featured superstar that gets to set the record straight! If you would like to be featured as the "Interview of the Week" here at the King's Kourt, send me an e-mail! The link is to the left!
This is the King, Jerry Lawler signing off. Keep watching the best wrestling organization going, XIWA! See you on the other side of the ropes!
XIWA Power Polls
XIWA's Top 10 Wrestlers
[ this week's rank ] - ( last week's rank ) - "wrestler" [ back to top of page ]
 (01) "The One Man Wrecking Crew" Draka [World Heavyweight Champion]
 (13) Prodigy [Hardcore Champion]
 (03) "The Latin Destroyer" Arriba Harrazane
 (02) "The Japanese Assassin" Hasha Koroshiya
 (12) "The Canadian Crippler" Chris Benoit
 (04) Elizabeth "Gator" Layton [Intercontinental Champion]
 (XX) The Jury [Tag Team Champions]
 (10) "Triple H" Hunter Hearst Helmsley
 (06) "The Chosen One" Jeff Jarrett
 (05) Mandilyn "Man Hunter" Hunter [Women's Champion]
* Note: Non-RPed matches count as a loss *
** Also: Power Poll rankings are based upon W-L records and strength of opponents and the quality of posting **
XIWA's What's Hot and What's Not
Carlos Harrazane as co-CEO
co-CEO Eric Marlow announcing the hiring of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
Commissioner Kimberly Page making Triple Threat Women's Championship match
The return of Prodigy
"The Latin Destroyer" Arriba Harrazane being brutally attacked
The Alliance ruling Carnage
"The Latin Destroyer" Arriba Harrazane
Heather Skeleton (Heltah Skeltah)
"The Canadian Crippler" Chris Benoit forming the Wolfpac
"The One Man Wrecking Crew" Draka
Elizabeth "Gator" Layton and "The Chosen One" Jeff Jarrett as "an item"
The King being attacked by the Hitman